


Let’s fall in love for the night (and forget in the morning)

by belsficsandfiction



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Episode: s03e08 The Eye of the Phoenix, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Jealous Gwaine, M/M, One Sided Attraction, Protective Gwaine (Merlin), This Is Sad, and also one sided merwaine, but emotional, campfire scene, inspired by a song, merlin's bed, merwaine - Freeform, nation rise, okay, okay so its one sided merthur for chapter 1, one-sided arthur/merlin - Freeform, to mutual, very sappy, waking up in bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27391018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belsficsandfiction/pseuds/belsficsandfiction
Summary: -One couldn’t help who he loved, a bosom’s flesh torn apart, tendons desperate to seal the heart, the vulnerable thing that it is-“ Let’s fall in love for the night,” He begged, cradling Merlin’s face as he leant in, eyes fluttering shut, “ And forget in the morning.-the campfire scene has bugged me for days, so here is an alternate twist to what could have happened.
Relationships: Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 70





	1. Breathe in

Gwaine fell in love a lot, but never head over heels, just fleetingly. He reckoned that he slept with half of Camelot already, so many sweet nights and some unsavoury ones - though he didn’t really care because he could barely remember them. Most of his memories were taken up solely by the quests and adventures he’s participated in; the perilous lands, the battle against Morgana, the time Merlin was enchanted by Morgana and wanted to kill him. Great times. Though the one constant - Merlin.

They met in a tavern brawl, Gwaine was half drunk already with a fist rearing to fly at some faces, which they did, and his attention detained entirely by this servant boy in a silly scarf. Still, he wanted to impress, and so he sent his fists soaring into the crook’s heads, a bottle of rum in hand ready to both drink from and use as a weapon, which he did. Ego boosted by every exclamation the young servant boy made, Gwaine introduced himself coolly, practicing Merlin’s name in his heart repeatedly a few moments afterwards. Merlin. It left a sparkling taste on his tongue, he wanted to say it over and over again.

When he found himself in Merlin’s bed afterwards, his stomach lurched in panic for a terrifying moment before Merlin came in fully dressed and looking entirely casual. Gwaine sighed in peace for the worst hadn’t happened already, he didn’t need to cut all ties so quickly. As Merlin set the food tray in front of him, Gwaine indulged in a leisurely gaze at his visage - long face, delicate lavender eyes, lips like a thrift flower he would find in the fields, honeysuckle skin, gorgeous. Took him a while to notice he was being asked a question actually.

“ Why did you help us?” Merlin asked, voice a youthful velvet.

_(Couldn’t let you get hurt.)_

” Your chances looked between slim and none,” Perhaps the pose was too much, too flashy, but he couldn’t help but act a fool, “ and perhaps I liked the look of those odds.”

That was the first of many times he would act a fool for Merlin, for he found himself once drunk making declarations in his embrace, helping him shine shoes in the throne room at midnight, even banished from Camelot - _all just for him_.

-

When he realised he was in love with Merlin, the world was set on breaking his heart. They were on an expedition to save Arthur from his own solitary quest, he tagged along as per Merlin’s silent request, in the Perilous lands. Arthur was the incomprehensible fool that he usually was, actually thinking he could complete a mission that killed many before him all alone. With his ridiculous cape and chiselled Jaw, blonde hair and cornflower eyes. Curse him for having Merlin so devotedly wrapped around his finger.

Envy bubbled under his skin, hives making his neck itch every time Merlin mentioned Arthur’s name. He doubted intensely that Arthur would be so ardent, would be so self sacrificial, _so Merlin_ if the positions were reversed. He mused angrily by the fire, longing to look at Merlin’s tired face - even with the black bags under his eyes and dirt in his hair, he left Gwaine winded. When their eyes met, it was like a heart attack, his lungs failed him, the skin on his neck stuck to his throat. Gwaine thought he was going to die but he couldn’t fathom why, he couldn’t bring himself to. 

The feeling festering in his chest was no longer foreign but an imposter, someone should have given him a stake to carve it out, one covered poison to help get rid of the abominable notion that he was in love with Merlin, a man. Unable to contain his chaos, he asked Merlin to fetch the firewood, a few harrowing moments to collect himself. Every stone he tossed into the fire pit healed him, scar by scar.

One couldn’t help who he loved, a bosom’s flesh torn apart, tendons desperate to seal the heart, the vulnerable thing that it is. He felt bare and broken, futile in his attempts to quieten the roaring of his mind painting him pictures of Merlin’s smiling face in his eyelids. For someone as happy-go-lucky as himself, unattainable love. The best friend he ever had couldn’t stay a friend for much longer.

When Merlin came back with a surprisingly handsome pile of firewood, it took all of Gwaine’s being to not bring him close, neck to his nose, and breathe. His inner turmoil had died down a bit, and he was ready to admit to himself that maybe men were attractive too, yet he couldn’t accept what he felt for Merlin.

Staring at the fire while they readied their supplies for the next day, they engaged in polite conversation for a while. Gwaine acted normal again, making goofy remarks about the terrifying roars just being “very big pheasants” to which Merlin rolled his eyes despite following along enthusiastically. It wasn’t until there were a concerning number of screeches that they started to feel a wee bit of fear in their hearts.

“ Thats a lot of pheasants,” Merlin chuckled humorlessly, “ Why are you doing this?”

Gwaine huffed, hesitant albeit imperceptibly, before answering.

“ Same reason as you… to help a friend.” _Because I can’t leave you defenseless_.

Merlin chuckled, “ Arthur’s lucky to have us.”

Something stung within Gwaine, a pang of envy. He wasn’t doing this for Arthur.

“ Not… for Arthur.”

Merlin looked surprised, and momentarily confused before he understood what Gwaine meant, giving a blinding yet shy smile in return. Gwaine’s soul despaired. The soft glow of the auburn fire kissed the young man’s face, eyes deeply worried though strangely content, hair a mess but so fitting. Gwaine worried that everything he thought was left bare and clear, but couldn’t control his grin as he basked in Merlin’s grace, moving closer a scarce distance per second, drawn in like a moth to a flame.

He would regret what he was about to do, but he didn’t care.

“ Let’s fall in love for the night,” He begged, cradling Merlin’s face as he leant in, eyes fluttering shut, “ And forget in the morning.”


	2. Breathe out

_“ Let’s fall in love for the night,” He begged, cradling Merlin’s face as he leant in, eyes fluttering shut, “And forget in the morning.”_

Gwaine’s pulse thundered in his ears, yet he couldn’t stop himself - he needed the touch, the air of Merlin to overtake him, he needed to quench his thirst for the freshwater spring that was Merlin to him. He was a directionless traveler, parched for love, and Merlin was an oasis. For a few blessed seconds, Merlin kissed back tenderly, lips velvet plush like his voice, tasting like rum and lightning. Gwaine was shaken to the core, though oh so drunk on the sensation of lips on lips. However, there were no feelings like his on Merlin’s, the man was kissing him out of pity, there wasn’t anything real or intimate, it was rather sympathetic. Merlin’s hands found Gwaine’s shoulders and pushed, heart-wrenchingly tender, he cared for Gwaine but not enough. _Not enough._

His eyes were clamped shut, he couldn’t look at the other man’s face with anything but heartbreak in his eyes. Gwaine’s head was hung low, body so close to the other’s that he was tempted to rest his tired head on Merlin’s shoulder, like a lover would. And yet, he moved back to distance himself and perhaps run away, when Merlin’s hands covered his own. Skin supple, warm, unwanted. He held Gwaine’s face with his other hand and made him look, wiping the rolling tears with his thumb before they could even touch the elder’s cheeks.

“ Merlin, I’m sorry,” He croaked morosely, smiling through it despite his pain, “ I’m sorry, I’m sorry, _I’m sorry_. I promise this all means nothing.” _Bitter lies, it’ll haunt his dreams for the rest of his life._

Merlin’s eyes softened impossibly further as he rested his forehead against Gwaine’s, noses brushing in a soft kiss, not failing to make Gwaine’s heart flutter again. Gwaine looked up and chuckled helplessly, his rose-tinted glasses made halos of Merlin’s eyes, he was drowning in them. He felt his hand being held and positioned over Merlin’s heart, he tried to stop himself from memorising how it felt.

“ This heart isn’t mine to give anymore, Gwaine,” It was Arthur’s, “ No matter how hard I wish for it to be.”

Outrageous, Gwaine would let him know as such. Clasping the younger man’s heart tight over his chest, he brought it to his own and brought Merlin close, close enough to count the flecks of gold in his irises.

“ Then make it yours for tonight, lend me half of it and I’ll give you all of mine in return. Let me kiss you this night like we’re star crossed, thread your fingers through my hair like we’re lovers, let us hold each other till daybreak Merlin. Let’s sail the seven seas of the sky, swim with the stars and make our love disappear with them at dawn,” Gwaine pleaded, voice cracking, desperately yearning, “ Fall in love with me for the night, _I beg of you_ , and forget it all in the morning.”

Merlin sighed fondly, pecking him on the lips lightly.

“ Okay.”

The next 7 hours went by like a haze. They lay together on the ground, cushioned by a flimsy blanket, as they watched the starry sky from their earthly place in the universe. Merlin’s head was tucked between Gwaine’s shoulder and his chest, fingers skittering along his fuzzy chest like water droplets settling after a fog. Sometimes he would draw constellations with his index finger, telling Gwaine what each one was as if he didn’t know the older man had already burned them into his mind and flesh. Gwaine had his arm wrapped around Merlin, fingers combing through his hair, breathing in the air like he was fresh from the womb and hasty to fill his lungs with it. They talked about nothing important, just their places in the world they lived in, what they imagined themselves becoming as old men.

“ You’ll probably be out in the world, romancing any woman you’d see, breaking weary hearts as a wrinkly old man, the Casanova that you are.” Merlin giggled, chest vibrating softly against Gwaine’s

Would I break them like you broke mine? Only in my dreams would someone love me so much.

“ And you’d be gorgeous, always.”

-

He found out that Merlin loved him back just about a year or so later, after the battle with Morgana, after Morgana bewitched him into wanting to kill Arthur, and directly after He managed to escape from Morgana’s torture chamber.

He found himself in Merlin’s bed again, and a sense of Deja Vu washed over him; it was morning again, the curtains open just a little to let the sunrise into the room, illuminating the direct spot above Merlin’s bed. He felt the same confusion too, save for the added pain to his head, stomach, back, legs, the whole body actually. He presumed that Gaius was the one who wrapped him up like a very sickly present, though he wished deeply that it were someone else instead.

“ Gwaine! You’re awake!”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, Gwaine supposed, nevertheless he couldn’t help but grin like a jester. Just like old times, just like old times. 

“ You’re not getting rid of me that easily, Merlin,” He sat up, wincing in pain to get a better look at the younger’s face, absolutely riddled with stress lines that Gwaine was itching to smooth over, “ I’ll always come back, just for you.”

He didn’t quite expect to be tackled, but he wasn’t going to complain when the person he missed the most through those agonising months fell right into his arms. The bed creaked under both of their weights, and Gwaine was pretty sure his ribs did too, but fools like Gwaine won’t care. Merlin embraced him tight, arms wrapped around his shoulders, neck to nose, as he breathed in. Gwaine wrapped his arms around Merlin’s waist tighter, hands drawing soothing circles on his skin, his version of magic sigils you could say. He kissed the side of Merlin’s face, before realising that maybe it wasn’t his place, pushing him away gently afterwards.

Merlin’s eyes were unbelievably distressed at the distance that was pushed between them, face falling dejectedly, and Gwaine didn’t understand.

He cleared his throat, “ Um, maybe we shouldn’t be… what if Arthur came and saw us?”

Merlin looked absolutely livid for a second before climbing onto Gwaine’s lap, and tilting his head up with a determined expression on his face.

“ I don’t care for him anymore, you absolute _dingus,_ I love you.”

Gwaine’s senses were overwhelmed suddenly, all he could see, smell, taste, and feel were Merlin. He tasted still like rum and whisky, smelled like a summer meadow, felt like silk under his palms, and looked gorgeous, always. If Gwaine was told to sell his soul to feel this forever, he wouldn’t bat an eye in signing the letter.

One couldn’t control who he loved, a bosom’s flesh torn apart, but the tendons needn’t strain to heal the heart, no longer vulnerable in his lover’s embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for any kudos and comments! more will be coming soon from me!

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, if there are any mlm who have read this and think that the description of what gwaine admires about merlin are strange, please understand that I am a lesbian who basically has no idea how to describe dudes if it is in any way to how one would describe women ad female presenting people. I also apologise and please tell me how I did!
> 
> Please comment what you think!  
> This is crossposted from my tumblr @quotes-from-merlins-dreams


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